76.How do you still doubt?

Published on 6 November 2023 at 13:35

   This is for the doubters. The one's that believe that God and all His infinite power is a made-up fairy tale. That He is something for weak people to find hope in. This is for the one's that do believe, but they believe they can manage their relationship with God all on their own. That they don't need to be around a family of believers to grow, To the one's that raise their hand and say, "yes" I believe in God! But live their whole lives within the wants and desires of their own flesh. 

  Let me tell you a little story. 

   As a young child I was needy. As a teen, I was definitely something! I dealt with depression, that I couldn't even understand, I didn't know how to express it to anyone else. In the midst of that, my family left the church I grew up in. We started at a different one. Then my parents split and got divorced. Talk about a whirlwind! I jumped in, needing a place to call home. As soon as I settled in, and became nice and cozy, it was literally shouted from the top of a mountain in Colorado just how they really felt about me. That I was nothing but a charity case that they took pity on! WOW! I was done. 

    I was going to go do me - and figure out my own relationship with God- on my own. Through making friends at work, they became my priority. Their likes and dislikes became mine. As time went on the excuse became bigger and better to make my actions okay in my own mind. The more I became okay with things, the deeper I would go, doing things that I promised myself I would never do!

    Eventually I met the man that I was going to marry. I reached out to that second person that felt I was a charity case, hoping and praying that we could work things out, and have them officiate the wedding! Things went great! They agreed! Awesome! They didn't show up. The ghosted me! Luckily, I was able to find someone else just days before! But I washed my hands of "church" at that moment. I had enough! 

     I wanted my kids to know God! To have that relationship with Jesus. So, my husband and I started attending a mega church. Just so our kids would get a foundation of Jesus. We would show up on Sunday mornings, smile, wave, go through the motions, and go home. I believed in God! What more did I need!? The opportunity came up for me to return "home" to my original church! I took it! God had a lot of work to do on me! But He never gave on me! And it wasn't until three years ago that He really opened my eyes! It wasn't the "church that crushed me. It was those individuals inside of it. It was those people! Those other children of God! Who are not perfect! They are still being worked on too! In the same as those people, I have failed people also! I need grace and forgiveness too! Along with that I need the family of God walking with me! Not the family of the world!

    Philippians 2:1&2 says, "Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from His love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2. Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and one purpose." 

  Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."

  It is extremely important that you are conscience about the people you surround yourself with! Who is influencing you! Never did I ever dream or imagine that I would be a Pastor! God has a plan for you. Trust His voice. Trust His direction. 


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